Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
