so explain again why im purple
no
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
