i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
