I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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