How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
