Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
