I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I AM VODKA MAN
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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