I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
