he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
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I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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