either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
