i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
