it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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