So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
