yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize