I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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