You really coming over, don't trick.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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