I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
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I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
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You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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