Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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