Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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