going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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