Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
