i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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