Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
