you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
