We won't sleep together?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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