fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
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i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
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She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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