DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
