We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
