what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
