at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
