This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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