What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
