I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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