Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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