Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Vodka?
Forever.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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