oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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