Tell her she can't have a vagina
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Pants are for mortals
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
