...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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