he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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