You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
