so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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