i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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