can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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