Grow some girl-balls and come out already
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
