The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
