just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
