I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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