he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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