Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
ok first of all what the fuck
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