State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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