Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
