It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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