Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
