conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize