ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
