Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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