shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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