That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize